NYC/HNY (The City Simul_ates)

 

All Images: Southwest Leicester, December 2022

Happy New Year, who/what/wherever you are...

Happy New Year, who/what/wherever you'd rather be.

'This S(c)eptic Isle', Notional Pride 21 [trans_late]

All Images: North East Leicester, October 2022

[Reconfigured Translation]:

There is absolutely no finesse in UK self-parody these days (see the so-called Brexit celebration and criticism of this £120 million dead elephant). The entire audience was horrified by the select culture of visitors who were somehow forced not to enjoy what was being shown. Total, you say? Are you saying that public money is horrible? Are you saying something completely different than what was being promised? Even though you've been programming for years, no one knows what you're really talking about? Do you say that those who came should accuse no one but themselves of their error? Meanwhile... I'm crying, the metaphor is slowly creeping into the British consciousness, taking it by the lapels, shaking it like a doll, and banging its head on its nose, shouting: "I'M A CONSTANT TRANSLATION - OK? MAN."

If you were one of the 67 million UK citizens who missed this summer's event (the officially extinct Brexit Festival), the woolly bird had a reason to celebrate 'Creating in the UK', and it's running everywhere. The country has been dry since the spring with a series of events hilariously revealed this week in a very alarming article in the house magazine. Any association with what we once feared as right was actively avoided by various authorities, and in many cases heroically undermined. The national drive did not succeed.

 

Many successful events seem to have run the gamut from wild and poorly executed, to wild and poorly attended. The Brexiteers met before the resignation began. The highlights are too numerous to be fully covered here, but special mention must be made of the dream (and certainly not the waking) content - which comes from some of the hardest working artists.

There was a trend to pay for what the manager called his 'expanded target' of 66 million visitors. The cost is 238,000. The whole thing came to 120 million of public money, which - surprisingly, the government minister still has. How many nurses can he can pay? In Hollywood, you lose your job if you give the green light to this big drop. To put this in an alternative way, each visitor can be given one of many events in the £100 cash chest, for example, being crushed by children, or dropping an inflatable moon over their head. That is, more than four times the cost of the platinum box was spent.

The 'renewal' of Britain again - this content was predicted to be returned around the corner.

The City Peers Through The Rain [re_mix]

 

All Original Images: North East Leicester, November 2022

[Reconfigured /Itemised/Translated Audio Transcript]:

• It starts with nihilism - and it’s a philosophy I follow (life has no meaning).

• Life is not cruel (the world has no reason to love low taxes). 

• Make-up has an absolute purpose (you’re kind of meat, even if you don't have chains).

• Where real people are billionaires, you don't see happy politicians anymore (It’s not something you do but something you don’t).

• I don't have a cold or anything like that (tuberculosis thoughts).

• Accept some diagnoses (don’t accept drugs).

• Don't calm down - we’ll be happy all the time anyway (we’re happy now).

• It doesn't matter now that the four continents on this world may only be three at the end (please move into place).

• I live despite absurdity (the best PR in a free/unfree world is an act of rebellion).

• Ironically, this is the paradox that I do not understand (I don't understand this downsizing ability).

• You become ill with the cruelty and strangeness of existence itself (often this creates hope in the soul).

• Perhaps nothing lasts (and I don't understand that the surgery never ends).

All Photo-Manipulations: December 2022

• If you think you're a fugitive from freedom - this is bullshit (it is friction with strange experiences and magic). 

• We are still washing dishes (realising we may never know why).

• This is from the past (this is how it happened).

• The universe came (and we survived).

• The question goes: ‘Oh my god, what if we don't have explanations?’ (we don't have a definitive explanation).

• If we don't have a definitive explanation, we don't see the whole situation (we go through everything in life and we never know what goes into our actions).

• It's kind of like finding the true power in letting go of things you cannot control (by learning to control your reactions and how you let things affect you today).

• Is it fully explained (or not)?

X_mas [happy]

 

All Images: North East Leicester, November 2022

Season's Greetings, one and all.

Significant Yellow Item: #2022.Y016 [trans_late / trans_scribe]

 

All Images: Central Leicester, November 2022

[Reconfigured/Translated Audio Transcription]:

This Weather Spoon restaurant suffers from the OIK fallacy. Erase the belief that everything is equal if it is already known. Well, duh! - the point is that the restaurant should take occasion to help the person who does not know what is the restaurant’s custom. No one was there to greet me, the customer. I needed to go to the bartender to ask at what table I may sit. No one came to take an order for a drink or for a meal or to clear the tables. There was a QR code if I had had use of a real smart waiter or waitress. I got up and went to the bar, maybe in order to phone my table to get the table number, or to pay for my order. There was no way of memorising my table number. There was no menu at the bar. There is an irony in the fact that there was on the customer's table a very large paper magazine. The food/drink menu could have been printed in the news (a tiny card could have explained that). Refusing a menu to the customer is Covid prevention. The map could have led me to the area where I noticed several elderly ladies had trouble. Negotiating these steps, chicken was brought to my table by someone you have to fetch alone. It would seem that the steps should be transformed into a ramp.

The chicken was very tender and must have been processed very well to be ready to be served so quickly. The grill marks on the processed chicken looked like the ones on the regal chickens. One must go to seek salt at another table, and condiments at another table full of coffee and probably tea by itself. There's nothing in the missing menu to indicate it. I wanted another drink but I didn't know what would happen to my plate if I had to go to the bar and get another drink. Note in hand then, I left - asking the scorer not to take my plate (there was no one there to protect my plate from things other people might do to it). I noticed there were menus visible on the way out but not visible on entering. The Weather Spoon was very successful with this mysterious system but for me it's quite short. When I come back to England I will never again try to eat at a restaurant.

The City Stares At The Sun [trans_late / trans_scribe]

All Original Images, North Leicester, October 2022

[Reconfigured/Translated Video Transcript]:

It starts with nihilism, which is a philosophy that life has no meaning and the world is here for no reason. Do some dancing. Love is going incredibly low tonight, so  make-up. Suddenly existentialism is trending. The main idea is: ‘Okay, maybe we are here for no good reasons, and the world isn’t interested'. It has no absolute purpose. But it's kinda meaty, because it means you don't have chains that belong to a god, or to a king. First of all you hear no one comes to the rescue, and above all - no one is really responsible. And it's hard to empathise today. Have you looked around where real people are billionaires? You don't see happy politicians anymore - they don't look corrupt at all. Personally, I wouldn't take any life advice from someone disguised as a bit of a tit. No person can understand another. It’s not something you do but something you don’t do. Albert has other ideas about tuberculosis. He accepts certain diagnoses of existentialism, but he does not accept medicine that remains free. But then what? The real problem is we're less university machine and more sexy, sexy ass. it seems we'll be happy all the time anyway now. It doesn't matter now that ‘four clicks’ on this may be only three. Be available. Ask in decline. In the end - please get to a safe place (that I don't believe in).

All Photo-Manipulations: December 2022

One day, one percent watermelon, eighteen important life decisions - and our acceptance in the heart of the sea of facts is probably the best PR in this river of pap. But I live against the absurdity of ‘better’ within a free and unfree world. Your act is an act of rebellion. And such is the paradox, that I don't understand being able to drop the number four, or my teenage terror of asking the ask-for-nothing dad - found isolated and frozen on the ice. Thinking about the same questions, physics and biology have failed the history of God knows what else. I expect this is how we live - how we live it. Don't respond by being too friendly with passion and freedom, but do create hope in the soul. The revolution is rebelling against the cruelty and strangeness of existence itself. Maybe nothing lasts, and I just don't get it. Surgery never ends. If you think you're an empty mandarin, there's no idea of freedom - it's rubbing against alien experiments and magic. 

We’re living inside a paradox, and we're still doing the dishes - knowing we may never know what was and what's going on anyway. That's not the absence of fear - courage is the mastery of fear. It's telling yourself: ‘Nothing really scares me - I thought I'd go before, and I didn’t.’ But that's not the answer to life's mysteries - of why bad things happen, when the universe came and we survived. Just ask the question: ‘Oh my god, what if we didn't have the definitive explanations - if we never saw the big picture - if we spent everything in living and never knowing what that was about.’ And the answer to that is a beautiful coffin, on a beautiful day. We're alive in an unprecedentedly strange and wonderful way, whether fully explained or not. Let’s have a beer.

Authentic_ate

 

All Photo-Manipulations: November 2022

[Reconfigured/Translated Audio Transcription]:

Legendary singer-songwriter Andy Blob issued a rare public statement to apologise for his misjudgement in using the machine to beautifully record an interpretation of other artists' songs and it was released in early November in a limited run of 900 copies when a signed edition sold for 599 teeth from the publisher Smithson Asunder meaning buyers began receiving many copies of their books as images spilled online and quickly realised they were featuring the 81-year-old musician who said all his autographs over the years were hand-signed in 2019 when he had a bad case of vertigo which continued into the plague years when the road crew came close to enable these dizzy signing sessions and to safely find work and to sign anything but it didn't help that dates brought the idea of using a pen in a car offered along with the promise that such a thing would be done every time as the literary machine was an error of judgement and Smithson Asunder want to immediately correct partners at the gallery and do exactly what the sister apologised for during the controversy last week if any purchaser is not satisfied because the limited edition sticker book contains Andy's original autograph with buttons attached and a copy of signatures they wrote on Twitter and I'm buying his art now for over £12,000 whilst the UK Lottery has also been called in to question a tailor who sells prints of the Blob paintings and said he was completely unaware of the autopen and found that only two of the prince's lines published this year were signed with an autopen rather than by hand and that all the rest of the editions that preceded these editions were separated by himself which they wrote in a statement to buyers on the condition  that they return their original certificates of authenticity reflecting the automatic pen signature... obviously.

'This S(c)eptic Isle': Notional Pride 20 [trans_late/trans_scribe]

 

All Images: North East Leicester, October 2022

[Reconfigured/Translated Audio Transcription]

An outspoken climate denier now brazenly condemns mainstream politics. Focus on the delays and exemptions the new licenses will soon issue to oil and gas prospectors with their eyes fixed on the North Sea, while the de facto ban on new onshore wind farms remains in effect. In fact, in the absence of a clear goal, the Sirius government wants us to understand an administration that manages almost impossible prices and therefore is obliged to introduce climate measures on the margins that the king banned and approved only in the elections (the basis is everything else). It appears to open the way for renewed efforts to secure domestic supplies of fossil fuels. The reactionary voices coming from Mr. Topsy, the right-wing press, the privileged Collins kids, and the radio (not least 'Britain's Wonderland'), gave 27 Police another excuse for the rage. Last week, one of the main issues at the summit attracted a lot of attention - the need to direct financing to developing countries suffering the worst global consequences. A complex issue erupts when governments and multinational corporations fund the global Minatory Anal Retention Summit at Arthur Vivian's yard, and engage in paranoid delusions that the British government has sent untold billions. It has to thank the government operating in London for the miracles of the crisis here with a sufficient dose of hysteria. Endless foreign aid full of evil is always on Hank Sirius' tail - his policies shaped by a party that now routinely speaks a language indistinguishable from the far-right elsewhere. Do you see a braver man that criticises cultural Marxism, dreams of transporting refugees to Rwanda, and insists it is a general desire to achieve a clean-up by the year 2050? This content should be sent over the phone in a matter of seconds.